This piece of art was inspired by a return to an art therapy setting some twenty years previously, and in particular an art therapy group I had been referred to in 2018. I immediately reflected with some wonder about the art therapy room that had seen no change in twenty years. This was to be a time of some extraordinary reflection, and the sight of two trees in the grounds where the therapy centre is based, that were covered in black veils, became an object for thinking how I had changed in those twenty years.
I did not know initially why these trees had been so covered, but I had an insight into how I would have interpreted these back then, and how I was seeking to perceive them in alternative ways. I knew that in 1997, I would have seen these veils as a powerful symbolic message directed towards me. Connotations of, or a metaphor of restriction on freedom, and creative growth. These symbolised my experiences of psychosis at the time.
What felt different in 2018 was that I had somehow moved on from feeling the world around me was loaded with such messages, and directness of communication. My reality back then was like an orchestration of the world happening around me, a communication from some ‘secretive higher beings’ as I believed back then. Through the art therapy I explored other ideas, realising that the one I almost certainly would have adopted back then was no longer present, at least entirely. Re-embracing my creativity needed some freedom, and each week walking into the grounds I would focus on the trees.
At the end of my journey back into art making I decided to make this piece about the trees, and learned that this black fabric was actually there to prevent birds nesting, as the trees sadly were to be chopped down. I showed the video piece in the group where we gathered around my laptop screen in a room devoid of anything indicating that we are in the 21st century. At the end of my therapy, my therapist, concluding my time there, commented: “the trees were allowed to grow again”. A metaphor for my changes in life, and some newfound creativity.
Latterly thinking that some birds and siblings had potentially been saved felt like a positive message of caring and value of life, perfectly fitting when thinking of messages within mental health.
About the artist
I have been a practicing electronic musician for over 25 years, and working with an audiovisual form for around 15 years. I studied Sound Arts (BA MA) at LCC UAL, and also Artist’s Moving Image (MRes) CSM UAL. I am currently assisting in an Art therapy group, and would like to train as an art therapist one day. I am fortunate to have had my work displayed in group shows, including the “The Tomorrow People” as part of the Hackney Wicked festival in 2009. In 2013/ 2014, I was part of the project “Thought Workshop” at Tate, where I was campaigning for the change of the term schizophrenia to something called “Salience Dysregulation Syndrome” I worked at Tate for over seven years, and have completed a number of creative commissions and collaborations. I curated a music event at Cafe Oto as part of the Anxiety 2014 festival. I was born in London, and still live and work there.
